Coercive control in custody battles is a hidden form of abuse that devastates children and non-abusive parents, often going unrecognised by family courts. Reem Alsalem’s UN report, Custody, Violence Against Women, and Violence Against Children (A/HRC/53/36), presented in 2023, exposes how this psychological manipulation harms families. As a coercive control advocate, I’ve seen its impact first hand, and this blog explores Alsalem’s findings, highlighting systemic failures and solutions to protect children.
Understanding Coercive Control in Custody Battles
Coercive control in custody battles involves tactics like intimidation, gaslighting, and isolation to dominate victims. Alsalem’s report reveals how controlling parents use these strategies to manipulate children and undermine the non-abusive parent during custody disputes. This creates an environment of fear, eroding children’s emotional safety and trust. Courts often mislabel this dynamic as “high-conflict parenting,” leaving children vulnerable to ongoing abuse.
The Misuse of “Parental Alienation”
Alsalem’s report highlights how claims of “parental alienation” are misused through coercive control in custody battles, often by abusive parents to discredit valid abuse allegations. For example, a mother reporting coercive control may be accused of alienating the child, even with evidence. This shifts focus from the abuser’s actions, endangering children. In my experience, I’ve seen non-abusive parents lose custody due to this tactic, underscoring the need for courts to recognise coercive control’s harm.
Impact on Children
Children are direct victims of coercive control in custody battles, facing manipulation like gaslighting or forced loyalty binds. Alsalem notes that such tactics lead to anxiety, depression, and PTSD, aligning with my observations of children struggling with fractured identities. The chronic stress of living under control impairs cognitive development, affecting school performance and social skills. Recognising coercive control as violence against children is critical for their protection.
Systemic Failures and Needed Reforms
Alsalem’s report exposes how family courts fail to address coercive control, often prioritising “equal parenting time” over safety. This can place children with controlling parents, perpetuating harm. Alsalem calls for trauma-informed training for judges and legal recognition of coercive control as domestic abuse. These reforms would ensure custody decisions prioritise child well-being, a goal I advocate for in my work with survivors.
A Path Forward: Solutions
Alsalem’s report offers actionable steps to combat coercive control in custody battles:
- Train Professionals: Educate judges and evaluators on coercive control’s signs.
- Legislate Protections: Define coercive control as domestic abuse in law.
- Support Non-Abusive Parents: Provide legal aid and therapy for protective parents.
- Listen to Children: Include children’s voices in custody decisions.
These align with my mission to protect families from coercive control’s devastating effects.
Join the Fight
Coercive control in custody battles is a human rights issue, as Reem Alsalem’s A/HRC/53/36 report shows. It harms children and non-abusive parents, demanding urgent reform. Read the full report here to understand its impact. If you’re navigating coercive control, contact a therapist or advocate. Together, we can protect our children.
No responses yet